Friday, April 30, 2010


Honey, what are you thinking?
let me guess your next move
Sorry for being so sensitive
do you know what's at stake here?
do you know my heart is at stake here

i wont let my guard down
coz' i know how it sounds
i don't need your sugar cliches
i dont want your empty promises
if you really like me,
then just let it be.

I know the clock is ticking
do you feel a bit pressured?
Sorry for taking it too long
do you know what's at stake here?
coz my heart is at stake here

i wont let my guard down
coz' i know how it sounds
i don't need your sugar cliches
i dont want your empty promises
if you really like me,
then just let it be.

if you really like me,
then just let it be.
if you really like me,
then just let it be.
if you really like me,
then just let it be.
then just WAIT FOR ME.

reposted from Capturing Grace. =)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

We Are Intrepid. We Carry On.

'So you failed. Alright you really failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You think I care about that? I do understand. You wanna be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling.'

Well, may this be a shoutout to all the men who, once in their life, think they are not enough, that they can't be the man they're supposed to be, that they will remain who they are for the rest of their lives. Someday you'll find just the right girl who will believe in you even when you can't seem to believe in yourself.

An excerpt from Wild At Heart by John Eldredge, pg. 132-134:

God's Name For Us

"I noticed a few years ago, a ways into my own masculine journey, that I related well to Jesus and to "God," but not to God as Father. It's not hard to figure out why. Father has been a source of pain and disappointment to me ... to many of us. Then I read this in MacDonald:

In my own childhood and boyhood my father was the refuge from all the ills of life, even sharp pain itself. Therefore I say to son or daughter who has no pleasure in the name Father, "You must interprit the word by all that you have missed in life. All that human tenderness can give or desire in the nearness and readiness of love, all and infinitely more must be true of the perfect Father - of the maker of fatherhood." (The Heart of George MacDonald)

The gift was perfectly timed, for I knew it was time to allow God to father me. (All along the process of my initiation, God has provided words like that, messages, people, gifts to open the next leg of the journey.) Masculinity is passed from father to son, and then from Father to son. Adam, Abraham, Jacob, David, Jesus - they all learned who they were out of their intimacy with God, with the Father. After all, who can give a man this, his own name? God alone. For no one but God sees what the man is. This is usually thought of with a sense of guilt - yes, God sees me ... and what he sees is my sin. That's wrong on two counts.

First off, your sin has been dealt with. Your Father has removed it from you "as far as the east is from the west" (Ps. 103:12). Your sins have been washed away(1 Cor. 6:11). When God looks at you he does not see your sin. He has not one condemning thought towards you (Rom. 8:1). But that's not all. You have a new heart. That's the promise of the new covenant: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws" (Ezek. 36:26-27). There's a reason that it's called good news.

Too many Christians today are living back in the old covenant. They've had Jeremiah 17:9 drilled into them and they walk around believing my heart is deceitfully wicked. Not anymore it's not. Read the rest of the book. In Jeremiah 31:33, God announces the cure for all that: "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people." I will give you a new heart. That's why Paul says in Romans 2:29, "No, a man is a Jew if he is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit." Sin is not the deepest thing about you. You have a new heart. Did you hear me? Your heart is good."


I can't believe i'll be naming my first daughter after an amplifier.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Man and Woman

Reposted from:

A real woman . . .
…is glad she’s a woman and rejoices in her femininity, expressing it through her attitude, appearance and bearing. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)

…does not compete for equality with men or chafe at God’s design for male and female, but delights in and understands the importance of her calling to complement man’s role. (1 Timothy 2:11-12, Ephesians 5:22-24)

…values the cultivation of her mind and diligently seeks after wisdom and knowledge. (Proverbs 22:17-21, 2:2-6)

…realizes her imperative need to allow the Holy Spirit to control her emotions and expressions of them. (James 1:19-20)

…does not wallow in self-pity or make a habit of voicing complaints, but radiates cheerfulness and joy. (Proverbs 15:15, Proverbs 17:22)

…appreciates her father’s protection, and respects and submits to his authority. In so doing, she is preparing herself to exercise the Biblical role in her relationship with a possible future husband. (Ephesians 5:33-6:3, 1 Peter 3:1-2)

…is trustworthy and gains the respect of those around her. (Proverbs 31:11)

…restrains herself from listening to, or participating in gossip, but instead speaks with wisdom and discretion. (Proverbs 11:12-13, 22, 20:19, 3:11)

…encourages and builds up those around her instead of criticizing and tearing them down. (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Ephesians 4:29)

…does not have a nagging, contentious or manipulative manner in which she deals with others. (Judges 16:16, Proverbs 21:9, 19, 26:21)

…is not boisterous or loud in her speech or actions but is characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit. (Proverbs 9:13, 1 Peter 3:4)

…portrays chastity, modesty and reverence in her manner, and wears the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is her true beauty. (1 Peter 3:3-4, Titus 2:4-5)

…is not offended by respect shown her through gentlemanly courtesies (opening doors, etc.) but cultivates the differences between the sexes that make her worthy of this deference. (1 Peter 3:7, Mark 10:6)

…seeks to make God her number one desire and the Lover of her soul, knowing that only He can fully satisfy. (Psalm 73:25, Psalm 63:1)

…uses her years of singleness to seek and serve God without distraction, and is content to leave the details of her future to Him.(Psalm 73:25, Philippians 4:11)

…does not relate to members of the opposite sex in a flirtatious or forward manner, but instead saves all her passion for her future husband. (Thessalonians 4:3-8, Proverbs 6:25, 1 Corinthians 7:1)

…holds her virginity before marriage sacred and will not compromise it for anything. (This one goes for guys too)
(1 Timothy 5:22)

Reposted from:

A real man . . .
…understands and lives according to the basic purposes for which he was created: to worship, honor, and serve God. (Romans 12:1-2)

…values and carefully handles the scriptures. (2 Timothy 2:15)

…doesn’t pride himself on being knowledgeable in the sinful ways of the world. (1 John 2:15-16, James 4:4, Philippians 4:8)

…isn’t embarrassed to worship God and pray in a group setting. (Mark 8:38)

…is wise, yet humble. (Proverbs 2:1-10, 1 Peter 5:5, Romans 12:16)

…takes leadership in a self-sacrificing way. (Ephesians 5:25-28)

…is kind because, “What is desirable in man is his kindness” (Proverbs 19:22)

…doesn’t try to prove himself but is simply confident as he walks in the fear of the Lord. (Proverbs 14:26-27)

…doesn’t put others down with his actions, attitude, words, or his strength. But on the contrary, he affirms and builds others up (Proverbs 15:4, Ephesians 4:29)

…treats his sisters and mother with as much respect as he would treat a prospective wife. (Matthew 25:21)

…not only respects but appreciates a young lady’s purity and innocence. In our culture innocence isn’t retained by accident. (2 Corinthians 11:2-3)

…values his purity as much as he values a young lady’s purity. He is not ashamed to live and act differently from the world in order to guard himself. (1 Thessalonians 4:1-8, Ecclesiastes 7:26)

…can look a girl straight in the eye without communicating any impurity. (Proverbs 20:11)

…isn’t ashamed to identify himself with his family (Ephesians 6:2-3)

…is a gentleman. He is polite and shows women honor in everyday things such as opening doors, etc. (1 Peter 3:7)

…has no desire to be gross in order to impress other men. He doesn’t burp, swear, or tell disgusting stories. (Proverbs 13:5, Ephesians 5:4)

…shows by his actions that he loves children. (Matthew 19:13-14)

…is pleasant and expresses joy rather than feeling that it’s masculine to be sullen. (Proverbs 21:29, 1 Thessalonians 5:16)

…doesn’t blame others for his own problems but embraces responsibility. (Proverbs 12:27)

…can accept correction (Proverbs 12:1, Proverbs 29:1)

…is mature in his emotions and his expressions of them. He can deal with the trials of life logically, with wisdom, not on a basis of emotional instability. (Proverbs 14:29, Proverbs 17:27, Proverbs 12:18)

…understands the value of work and is financially responsible. (Colossians 3:23-24, 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12, Luke 16:10-11)

…expresses himself with intelligent words rather than using “street talk”. (Proverbs 17:20, Titus 2:6-8, 1 Peter 4:11, Ephesians 4:29)

Her Morning Elegance

A Woman’s Question

A Woman’s Question

By Lena Lathrop.

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing

Ever made by the Hand above?

A woman’s heart, and a woman’s life-And a woman’s wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing

As a child might ask for a toy?

Demanding what others have died to win

With the reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out

Manlike you have questioned me

Now stand at the bars of my woman’s soul

Until I shall question thee

You require your mutton shall always be hot

Your socks and your shirt be whole

I require your heart be true as God’s stars

And as pure as his heaven your soul

You require a cook for your mutton and beef

I require a far greater thing

A seamstress you’re wanting for socks and shirts

I look for a man and a king

A king for the beautiful realm called home

And a man that his Maker God

Shall look upon as he did on the first

And say; “It is very good.”

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade

From this soft young cheek one day

Will you love me then ‘mid the falling leaves

As you did ‘mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true

I may launch my all on its tide?

A loving woman finds heaven and hell

On the day she is made a bride

I require all things that are grand and true

All things that a man should be

If you give this all, I would stake my life

To be all you demand of me

If you cannot be this; a laundress and cook

You can hire and little to pay

But a woman’s heart and a woman’s life

Are not to be won this way.

Friday, April 23, 2010


I am sitting still I think of Angelique, her mothers voice over me.
And the bullets in the wall where it fell silent
And on a thousandth hill, I think of Albertine, there in her eyes what I don't see with my own

Now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you in my own arms, I cannot let go till you are

I am on a plane across a distant sea
But I carry you in me and the dust on, the dust on, the dust on my feet.

I will tell the world, I will tell them where I've been
I will keep my word. I will tell them Albertine.

I am on a stage, a thousand eyes on me.
I will tell them, Albertine.

There's a bit of Rwanda everywhere, a bit of Albertine in people. Shoot and capture grace, that's what we're called for. So that people will see, that they will take their stand, and when they see they would know His name. So that everywhere people go they would take the image of the Albertine they saw and will forever take that vision in their hearts.

Now that I have seen, I am responsible.

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways.

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

[Previous sonnet]

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Always. Forever.

This is the start
This is your heart
This is the day you were born
This is the sun
These are your lungs
This is the day you were born

And I am always yours

These are the scars
Deep in your heart
This is the place you were born
This is the hole
Where most of your soul
Comes ripping out
From the places you’ve been torn

And it is always yours
But I am always yours

I’m caving in
I’m in love again
I’m a wretched man
Every breath is a second chance

And it is always yours
And I am always yours

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Jesus, Light My Path.

This Post Goes Out To...


Yes, you heard it (read it) right. This is my extensive view of one of the most controversial noontime show in the history of noontime shows.

Disclaimer: This entry does not intend to glorify Willie Revillame or appraise the network for creating such show. I am here to shed light to the people who makes the show, in one way or another, wonderful.

My initial reaction to Wowowee was pissed - and I'm afraid, on the verge of disgust, really. And honestly, seeing Filipinas in skimpy spandex, gyrating in primetime TV for the whole world to see is not something that I welcome while eating lunch. Then there's those annoying 'pakulo' and games, those cringe-inducing numbers from various one hit wonders. Then there's the high-pitched voices of the female hosts. Another reason would be Willie Revillame (need I say more?).

Ok, so here comes the epiphany.

After lunch one day at my sister-in-law-to-be's house, I had no other choice but to watch the show with the rest of her family. This is the part where the contestants, before guessing the name of the song being played, need to show off their talents or tell their life story.

(while writing this, all of my playlists were deleted. great. just great.)

So, the first one that I caught was a dance instructor who is already in his 50's. He welcomed the audience with bravado (oh ,believe me, you should've watched it. You will feel as if you're a really, really special person - like a politician or royalty - when he mentions your name), said hello to almost everyone in the Philippines - in at least five different vernaculars. He was wearing one of his costumes that he used in competitions, I suppose: those long-sleeved shirts with hints of lace and gayness in it. His hair was slick back with either Pomada or some strange and sticky formulation. He is gap-toothed and was smiling all throughout his dialogue, which took about 3 minutes of the show. The whole time I was watching this, um, entertainment, I was thinking, what a show this guy is making! He's faking it, playing a mascot for the sake of the the host and the show. But I was wrong. When Willie asked him how he was, what is his life story, the mask - the jolly, blithe one - just fell off, then the tears fell automatically. Suddenly, I was crying with him. I was there with him when his wife left her family to work, while he did all the household chores for his children, while he filled his duties to his family in the absence of a mother, while he had to endure three years to be away from the woman that she loves. He was a different person, the one who is in tune with his sorrow, failures, and all things he thought he lacked.

There are actually more contestants who shared a glimpse of their story. None was the same, yet the heart was there. There's this woman who is good at belting out songs, and as her husband was being interviewed, he told her that he still loves her after almost five decades of marriage. She has six kids from her previous husband. He has none with her. Yet they lived lives with a story worthy of a Sunday frontpage feature. Amazing.

And I thought, these people are truer to themselves than I am. They are not trying to be anyone or imply anything except for who they really are as a person, as a human. They are not trying to put up this image, as if dignity comes with it. Nothing is suppressed in their feelings: they gave the audience complete access to their soul. Maybe it's in their pride from the fact that despite all things happening in their life, no matter how ugly it may seem, they survived it and they're happy that they didn't give up. Their happiness, as I have observed, did not lie on anything material or financial, or even social status - it was all about the desires of the heart.

It's very Filipino of them, and I'm proud to be a Filipino just by watching this. That was the moment I got hooked.

I don't mind the people who runs the show anymore.

Now, if only everyone adapts this mindset of accepting oneself (there's a pretty good reason why I thought this show was tacky, and that's because it challenges me to be tacky as well by being true to myself. and I'm scared with what other people will think), then I bet this will be one great nation full of funky Filipinos. Now I see us as a crowd of ice-cold-beer-loving, videoke addicts who can't get enough of fiestas and any other occasions that can be an excuse for celebration. Nevermind baduy, it's just me being a Pinay. It's just me being me.

Revelations. Obedience. Headache.

Hello. To whoever is reading this, understand that this is me thinking out loud. I'm currently in a shell for a few days now, praying and thinking about, well, about matters of my heart. God never failed in revealing answers to me, through other people's insights and experiences and of course, through His Word. It's good to have silence for a while, without hearing anything from anyone. I need to let the world know, this is what I think vis-à-vis what I feel.

I hate this not-being-sure part.
Ok, so here it goes.

There came a time when I thought I was really, really, REALLY sure of what I feel about this person. So sure that I was not ready to listen to anyone except for myself, for what I really want. I thought everything was God-driven, directed by His Word. Then Jeremiah 17:9 said, the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure, who can understand it? If you are talking to a person almost everyday of your life, you would have to admit that that person has a hold on you, on your decisions. But I want to know if I would feel and think the same way after a while of NOT TALKING TO THIS PERSON. Basically, I'm testing myself and my heart (Hey Scruffy, if you ever get to read this, thank you for giving me space). While it is true that in this case, no one can fully grasp our friendship, on what goes on in our minds and our hearts, I know I have to undergo this process. What the community has to say about us matters (Proverbs 15:22).

I have to go back to Day 1, on how it all started.

Answering these questions is easy, but to let go was the hard part. But then again I had to do it.

Two things I am sure of right now, though:
1. He is the person God is pointing out to me right now.
2. I don't think 'right now' is the perfect time for us to be together.

(These questions, by the way, are thrown in by people who are already committed to a believer)

Where are we right now?
Apparently, we are still in the ‘waiting’ process. We are giving it more time.

Why are we waiting? What exactly it is we're waiting for? How do you wait or what involves 'waiting'?
I am waiting because, once again, I do not trust myself enough if I think this is the right time for us. It's easy to say that I love this person, but time is still a crucial factor. We should be focusing first on building a friendship that is open to everyone - enjoying one another's company without going any 'friendlier'. At this point flirting and 'love talk' should be avoided.

This really makes sense - and basically answers the question on why suddenly I’m not sure - so dig in...

1-6 months:

1. There is an attraction to each other and Christian singles immediately (or soon thereafter) think they have found their soul mate. Candidly, there is really little more in the Christian dating relationship during this stage than “physical attraction”.

2. There is a temptation for Christian singles to begin saying, “I love you” during this fantasy stage. What the expression really is saying is – “I am in love with the idea of being in love” AND “I really think you are the answer for ME”! It is mostly self-serving.

3. The emphasis should be upon enjoying each other’s company and building a FRIENDSHIP and refraining from going any further.

4. After 2 to 3 months of this type of dating and it is mutually agreed, the Christian dating relationship can move into an exclusive dating arrangement. This should be mutually agreed to and clearly understood by both Christian singles.

5. It is very important that each person have their own accountability group of their own gender. The progress of the Christian dating relationship should be shared so that their objectivity and accountability can be a valuable resource to the couple.

So during this ‘waiting’ process, I have to make sure that the stated conditions above are not the case. And to those kids who think they know what they’re saying, who thinks they know love per se, YOU DON’T. Not yet. So we all have to wait.

Questions that I have to ask myself again after the 'waiting' period:

Will your priorities still be prioritized if he enters the picture?
How is his spiritual maturity? Is God really the priority of our lives?
Would I be willing to commit my life to this person for the rest of my life?
Would I be proud to introduce him as my partner/husband/father of my children?
Would he compliment with the direction God is leading me to?

I guess the point of this whole thing is that IT WON'T ALWAYS BE ABOUT FEELINGS.

I hope this helps. Expect more entries later. =)

Ecelesiastes 3:11

Journey with me as I think out loud.

More entries later...

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Soap Opera

We are all uniquely made: me, with my weird thoughts and quirks. One of them would be my fascination with water and my childish desire to run through sprinklers and play in the rain. Another would be my attraction (borderline obsession) with anything soap-related. I don't really expect everyone to understand my thing for bathtime, bubblebaths, working up the lather on my hair, doing the laundry, fabric conditioners and liquid bubbles that one can buy for dime a dozen on the streets. Yes, I belong to the bubble-blowing/bubble-popping crowd and I'm endearingly shameless in saying that.

I don't know if there's something about cleaning up oneself or just the feeling of being cleaned that makes it all appealing to me. I remembered during LTI we had this exercise wherein we need to slither our way out of mud. Twice. With barbwires pinching us on the back. It was not a new experience for me, playing on the mud (I got past that mudpie-making phase of my childhood) but there is something oddly familiar with the feeling of dirt and grime in my body and my face. Something normal. As if this is how I really am, dirty and grimy. While cradling my friend in my arms as she cries, while we were both muddy and wet and embracing one another, Jesus was in our minds.

Whether I am dirt-filled, grimy, wounded, bathing or completely cleaned, I just want to bask in that state.

Let me be a seven-year-old again, where my only worry is what i'll get as a Christmas present.

Homemade Bubbles
from Kids Domain Craft Exchange
1/2 (500 ml) cup dishwashing detergent
4-1/2 (4.5 liter) cup water
4 tablespoons (60 ml) glycerin
(available in pharmacies or chemical supply houses)
Measure out the water, detergent, and glycerin into container with a cover and stir gently. The longer you let the mixture set, the larger the bubbles are and the longer they seem to last.

Campolo Hits Home.

An excerpt (again) from "What's So Amazing About Grace?" by Philip Yancey (Grace Avoidance, p. 201)

Author Tony Campolo, who makes a regular circuit as a chapel speaker on Christian college campuses, for a time used this provocation to make a point.

"The United Nations reports that over ten thousand people starve to death each day, and most of you don't give a s--t. However, what is even more tragic is that most of you are more concerned about the fact that I just said a bad word than you are about the fact that ten thousand people are going to die today."

The responses proved his point: in nearly every case Tony got a letter from the chaplain or president of the college protesting his foul language. The letters never mentioned world hunger.

One thing: this part hit home as it attacks each and everyone of us, in one way or another, and that includes Mr. Campolo. Another thing to notice here would be the use of the word 'tragic' to describe the audience's state of mind - when in fact it is more than tragic. He was being generous when he said it, when what he really meant is that we are being bastardly stubborn and self-centered. But we are not to bask in the evil-ness: we are simply called for repentance, that desperate, heart-piercing type of repentance.

Why is it so hard for us to make it an aim to put a smile on God's face each day? Won't that be a good question to ask ourselves from time to time?

Friday, April 16, 2010

He Spoke Through Songs

(All songs by Corrinne May)

We share a bond you and I we belong. We're like coffee and morning trains. You strip my defenses, I catch your pretenses. The same blood runs through our veins. I swore I'd be your lifeline. Made a vow that I'd surround you with love at every milestone. I'll listen when nobody gets you I'm still standing in your corner. Waiting by your door, you don't have to be alone. Just call my name, let me be an answer 'cause it hurts me to see you this way. I wanna ease your pain. Help me understand, let me be your shelter my friend. (Shelter)

This is, as I see it, Jesus' song for me, when all is confusing, when everything doesn't give an answer to my questions - or when everyone's answers just doesn't answer at all. Jeremiah 29:11.

You can be a witness, you can be a prophet, you can make the whole world believe. Break the strongest fortress, change the way the world thinks, you can build a bridge where foes can meet. Hope for the future, shout it, don't whisper dreams are what make them to be. There is hope in every heartbeat. Tiny as it seems you're a beautiful seed. Every hope, every power lies in the heart of a seed that flowers. Intertwined all across the land we're all seeds in the maker's hand. (Beautiful Seed)

What He has in store for me is clear: a nation that needs grace. I am indeed in for an adventure, for a journey beyond what I can imagine it to be, as visions of worshiping people fills my mind. And I am a part of their story, His story. I'm a worker in His Kingdom, a servant of my Master. Through these words, I am redeemed. Acts 1:8

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus, the kindness in His smile. And the boy cried out with the trust of a child he said: "Take my five loaves and two fishes, do with it as you will I surrender. Take my fears and my inhibitions all my burdens, my ambitions. You can use it all to feed them all". But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands, and every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer. So I'll give you every breath that I have, oh Lord, you can work miracles, all that you need is my "Amen". (Five loaves and Two Fishes)

There are times when our 'five loaves and two fishes' might not seem enough, but still He wants it and we need to surrender it. The miracles of God we cannot fathom, like what He can still do with us: imperfect and, most of the time, stubborn creatures He made out of love. Ok, Jesus, I'm letting go. Here's my desperate plead, my only Amen.

Losing myself gaining it back again. Forging strength from weakness. All that I am, all that I'm meant to be. Melting in your hand. Break me open, tear me down into pieces. Broken crumbs on the ground. You can mould and shape me in your image, breathe your life, You know I need it. Scars make us stronger for life. Cut away all within me that won't bear fruit. Cut away all within me. (Scars)

There is a comforting sorrow and joy in knowing that you have given everything in complete surrender. Once again, God reminded me that the safest place in the universe is at the center of His will, nowhere else. Things might hurt, fear might set in, but to be assured by Him that all is being taken care of, nothing beats that feeling.

Why do you hide among the nameless and forgotten, why do you walk along these long forsaken roads? Calling to me in the hungry and the homeless, calling me to water your thirst. So I’ll give you my heart and my song in a world where so much is right but so much is wrong. Your love is my beginning and I know it won’t be too long till I see you. I hear you. I love you. (Love Song for Number 1)

My love song for you, Jesus. Take me.

Monday, April 12, 2010

On The Side Of Me

For my Savior, Lord, Best Friend, Lover, and Redeemer.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

A Slap In The Face, A Blow To The Gut

Excerpts from "What's So Amazing About Grace?" by Philip Yancey
A Home For Bastards: A Story, page 142.

"In ten words or less, what's the Christian message?" one agnostic had challenged him. The interlocutor was P.D. East, a renegade newspaper editor who viewed Christians as the enemy and could not understand Will's stubborn commitment to religious faith.

We were going someplace, or coming back from someplace when he said, "Let me have it. Ten words." I said, "We're all bastards but God loves us anyway." He didn't comment on what he thought about the summary except to say, after he had counted the number of words in his fingers, "I gave you a ten-word limit. If you want to try again you have two words left." I didn't try again but he often reminded me of what I had said that day.

And a few more lines that demands attention:

The free offer of grace extends not just to the undeserving but to those who in fact deserve the opposite.

We are called upon to extend that mercy, to be conveyors of grace, not avoiders of contagion. Like Jesus, we can help make the "unclean" clean.

The apostle Paul - initially one of the most resistant to change, a "Pharisee of the Pharisees' who had daily thanked God he was not a Gentile, slave or woman - ended up writing these revolutionary words: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Jesus' death, he said broke down the temple barriers, dismantling the dividing walls of hostility that had separated categories of people. Grace found a way.

He (Mel White) added a chilling remark, "As a gay man, I've found it's easier for me to get sex on the streets than to get a hug in church."

Grace dies when it becomes us versus them.

As Helmut Thielicke wrote:
Jesus gained the power to love harlots, bullies, and ruffians...he was able to do this only because he saw through the filth and crust of degeneration, because his eye caught the divine original which is hidden in every way - in every man!...First and foremost, he gives us new eyes....
When Jesus loved a guilt-laden person and helped him, he saw in him an erring child of God.
He saw in him a human being whom his father loved and grieved over because he was going wrong.
He saw him as God originally designed and meant him to be, and therefore he saw through
the surface layer of grime and dirt to the real man underneath.
Jesus did not identify the person with his sin, but rather saw in this sin something alien,
something that really did not belong to him, something that merely chained and
mastered him and from which he would free him and bring him back to his real self.
Jesus was able to love men because he loved them right through the layer of mud.

"To love a person," said Dostoevsky, "means to see him as God intended him to be."

These words are like a slap in the face. When one understands grace for what it is, the atmosphere changes. There's a deeper sense of calling within (i'm speaking both literally and metaphorically here). One can't help but be moved. I am challenged to rebuke myself in front of another person. This is the kind of church that I pray for. And it must start with us. Love them freely, as we have been loved. Love the soul and hate the sin. Embrace each other's brokenness, and believe in the heart of another.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Capturing Grace

Isaiah 55 says,

Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David...

Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.

Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

Pat, excited na ko for Capturing Grace. =)

You Are Worth A Lot!/notes/anne-andrada/you-worth-a-lot/412892176954

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question, “What kind of man are you looking for?”

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, “Do you really want to know?”

Reluctantly, he said “Yes.” She began to expound…

“As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can’t do for myself.

I pay my own bills.

I take care of my household without the help of any man… or woman for that matter.

I am in the position to ask, “What can you bring to the table?”

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, “I am not referring to money.”

I need something more.

I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life.

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, “I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation.”

I don’t need a simple-minded man.

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked… believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

And even if he is a believer; he needs to believe as I do.

I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don’t need a financial burden.

I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to keep me grounded when I do go through changes.

I don’t need a man who is going to purposely bring me grief.

I am looking for someone who I can respect, in order to be submissive.

I must respect him and he must respect me. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business or who is “messy” in his personal affairs.

I have no problem being submissive, but he has to be worthy.

God made woman to be a help mate for man, I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself.

If he can’t help himself then he definitely can’t help me.

When she finished her spiel, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, “You are asking a lot.”

She replied, ” Because I am worth a lot.”

Monday, April 05, 2010

Happy Day

Philippians 4:4-9 (New International Version)

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Sign language classes. Purpose-Driven Photography workshop. FIP classes. Capturing Grace. Operation Blessing. Open Doors.

Don't be surprised if the word Grace dominates this entry. When I think about it, everything points back to the grace of God. All of these are gifts, I am but deserving of it all. I still remember those times when i'm still confused as to what I want to be, what I want to do my whole life, where I would be most useful and happiest at the same time. Finally I was able to surrender all my worries about the future. And my prayers, apparently, didn't get unanswered. To those people who God brought into my life, those He used for me to come to this point, to those He has used as channels of His blessings, may you all be blessed. Thank you for believing in me. Let's all bring back to God whatever he has imparted to us. I'm more than excited for the future. =)

Ecclesiastes 8:5-7 (New International Version)

Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure. For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man's misery weighs heavily upon him. Since no man knows the future,who can tell him what is to come?

The state of my heart has been unstable for a while. But God assured me through this verse that by praying and claiming an obedient heart before Him, there is nothing to worry about. The safest place in the universe is indeed at the center of His will. Let me serve you, Father, as I wait. Thank you for making me fragile, weak, vulnerable to everything. My brokenness magnifies your grace, and as I put all my trust in you, I know I am made more faithful.

Jeremiah 1:4-10 (New International Version)

The Call of Jeremiah
The word of the LORD came to me, saying,

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew a]">you, before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

"Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."

But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."

As the three of us cousins sit at the table and ponder and talk about things, I was brought back to our first date along Megamall. It all started with one unsolved problem (that has been going on for years), and we found ourselves at the presence of one another, praying for the whole family. Last night, we were burdened at the same time elated with the task God has given us. To stand up for God before the older people, to openly rebuke the sins that have always been ignored, to reveal what needs to be revealed, to shed light to the truth we're all yearning for in this family. God is asking for our commitment in this; in return He promised that He will do all the work for us, we just needed to say yes. And we all said yes. Fears were apparent but the important thing is we were all in this together, and the promise of God is so clear that He will rescue us in times of need. I'm so ready.

In whatever we do, may Your name be the only thing that is glorified.

At the end of the day, it's still Your joy that sustains and satisifies.

Friday, April 02, 2010