Sunday, April 18, 2010

Revelations. Obedience. Headache.

Hello. To whoever is reading this, understand that this is me thinking out loud. I'm currently in a shell for a few days now, praying and thinking about, well, about matters of my heart. God never failed in revealing answers to me, through other people's insights and experiences and of course, through His Word. It's good to have silence for a while, without hearing anything from anyone. I need to let the world know, this is what I think vis-à-vis what I feel.

I hate this not-being-sure part.
Ok, so here it goes.

There came a time when I thought I was really, really, REALLY sure of what I feel about this person. So sure that I was not ready to listen to anyone except for myself, for what I really want. I thought everything was God-driven, directed by His Word. Then Jeremiah 17:9 said, the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure, who can understand it? If you are talking to a person almost everyday of your life, you would have to admit that that person has a hold on you, on your decisions. But I want to know if I would feel and think the same way after a while of NOT TALKING TO THIS PERSON. Basically, I'm testing myself and my heart (Hey Scruffy, if you ever get to read this, thank you for giving me space). While it is true that in this case, no one can fully grasp our friendship, on what goes on in our minds and our hearts, I know I have to undergo this process. What the community has to say about us matters (Proverbs 15:22).

I have to go back to Day 1, on how it all started.

Answering these questions is easy, but to let go was the hard part. But then again I had to do it.

Two things I am sure of right now, though:
1. He is the person God is pointing out to me right now.
2. I don't think 'right now' is the perfect time for us to be together.

(These questions, by the way, are thrown in by people who are already committed to a believer)

Where are we right now?
Apparently, we are still in the ‘waiting’ process. We are giving it more time.

Why are we waiting? What exactly it is we're waiting for? How do you wait or what involves 'waiting'?
I am waiting because, once again, I do not trust myself enough if I think this is the right time for us. It's easy to say that I love this person, but time is still a crucial factor. We should be focusing first on building a friendship that is open to everyone - enjoying one another's company without going any 'friendlier'. At this point flirting and 'love talk' should be avoided.

This really makes sense - and basically answers the question on why suddenly I’m not sure - so dig in...

1-6 months:

1. There is an attraction to each other and Christian singles immediately (or soon thereafter) think they have found their soul mate. Candidly, there is really little more in the Christian dating relationship during this stage than “physical attraction”.

2. There is a temptation for Christian singles to begin saying, “I love you” during this fantasy stage. What the expression really is saying is – “I am in love with the idea of being in love” AND “I really think you are the answer for ME”! It is mostly self-serving.

3. The emphasis should be upon enjoying each other’s company and building a FRIENDSHIP and refraining from going any further.

4. After 2 to 3 months of this type of dating and it is mutually agreed, the Christian dating relationship can move into an exclusive dating arrangement. This should be mutually agreed to and clearly understood by both Christian singles.

5. It is very important that each person have their own accountability group of their own gender. The progress of the Christian dating relationship should be shared so that their objectivity and accountability can be a valuable resource to the couple.

So during this ‘waiting’ process, I have to make sure that the stated conditions above are not the case. And to those kids who think they know what they’re saying, who thinks they know love per se, YOU DON’T. Not yet. So we all have to wait.

Questions that I have to ask myself again after the 'waiting' period:

Will your priorities still be prioritized if he enters the picture?
How is his spiritual maturity? Is God really the priority of our lives?
Would I be willing to commit my life to this person for the rest of my life?
Would I be proud to introduce him as my partner/husband/father of my children?
Would he compliment with the direction God is leading me to?

I guess the point of this whole thing is that IT WON'T ALWAYS BE ABOUT FEELINGS.

I hope this helps. Expect more entries later. =)


pat said...

wow! you really did ponder on the questions i asked=) Really in awe how God is working in you. I know it's a bit painful but believe me... it's all worth it =) Do you know Rebecca St. James's "WAIT FOR ME?"

"and you said I know that this will hurt ,but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse.If the burden seems too much to bear,remember
the end will justify the pain it took to get us there" - Relient K

Adaiah Roanne said...

AVA!!!! grabe... when we talked last sunday, and u told me where u are right now, you heard how much i admire your beautiful heart...but after reading this, i realized that what i told you is an understatement! :) amazing talaga how the Lord is working in and through you... press on my dear sis!!! we're right behind u!!! and the Lord is holding you at the palm of His hand :)i'm soooo excited for you!!!! uy, post mo to sa fb!!!! so many can learn from you :)